Friday, December 31, 2010

Our Beautiful Son James

The best day of our lives turned into our worst nightmare. On December 4th 2010, I was in the full swing of labor about to deliver my sweet bundle of Christmas joy! We went into the hospital only to learn that baby James had no heart beat. In one fell swoop, joy and elation turned into terror, panic, fear and anger. How could this be happening? What did we do wrong? These are just a few questions that continue to race through our mind.

We were so ready to be parents and we'd planned for an entire year to start our family. But somehow life had other plans for us. We were quickly shot out of our happy life and now exist in a childless world full of pain, blame, fear, sadness, anger, and a laundry list of questions that have no answers.

All I know is that we created the most beautiful baby boy in James. We may not get to hear his cries, wipe his tears, see his smiles, see what he grows up to become, but we know we made a perfect little boy that sadly was not meant to live long in this world. We are the parents of an angel. We will love him forever and keep his memory alive.

At first we weren't sure if sharing James with the world like this was appropriate. Then we saw him and realized there's nothing wrong with sharing pure joy. The world needs all the goodness it can get. So without further ado, this is what pure joy looks like...

James Edward Kaiton 12-5-2010
8.2 lbs, 22" tall