Friday, August 26, 2005

Happy Friday!

Ok, so there's something I like to do at my desk every Friday to get my mind off of work, and to broaden my scope on what's going on outside my own life.
It's called "the week in pictures" and it's on msn.com.

The photos are incredible and sometimes outright emotional or disturbing. They are meant to show what goes on around the world in the past week, and each set is of about 8-14 photos.

Everyone should feel free to take a couple moments out of their day on Friday to reflect on what's going on around the world. And to do that through pictures is priceless, and powerful.

The link...
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/3842331/

Let me know waht you think!

Jen

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Family Ties

It seems to me that the most important things in my life are my family and my friends, and the type of relationships I have. This is why moving away from some of the most important people in my life has been so hard.

Granted I am in the midst of a new beginning, a time to create my own life, create new experiences, and get on my feet in a strange new environment. I have certainly learned that taking risks can be scary, but can be beneficial to one's character, and personal growth.
Each day I miss the life I grew to love and adore, and I wish I was home for birthdays, anniversaries, family gatherings, parties with friends, creating new memories.

I remember the moment so vividly in my mind. It was the day I knew I had to move to Los Angeles. I was riding on a train in Europe with my family, and I think we were traveling from the south of Spain to Madrid. I had my headphones on listening to music, and a voice inside me said "you have to go."
So for about a year and a half I worked hard to earn money for the move, and struggled all the time with whether or not it was the right decision, but I knew I needed to at least try, and see what was to come.

On a weekend in April I had a long heart felt conversation with my mom about moving back to Seattle. And that was it, I was mentally preparing to move back to Seattle after being in Los Angeles for one year without a great job and without the love of my life, music! Then that same weekend I met the man I have recently moved in with. At that moment, I knew LA was not through with me.
Suddenly everything looked different. I was hanging out with someone who has been in the city for 5 years, and new the right parts to show me. I was seeing nature again, going on drives to the ocean and the mountains. And then music came back into my life.

Things are much brighter now for me, and it took time. I have a solid base of friends, and I have some family, and I'm creating new memories for myself. I just can't wait to share it all with the ones I love who are not near me!!

J


Monday, August 22, 2005

Seen it all

Living in a large city as Los Angeles, I've been exposed to many things. In a sense I've seen it all.
Often I see a guy who stands on the median of a major intersection and he is always hitting the sign post with his one crutch. Passing by him in my car, I see that his skin is flush red with crazy, and his eyes are glossed over with hunger, pain, and insanity. I think to myself this guy is the type you'd see in a mental institute, and here he is roaming the streets of Los Angeles for money.

Once I went to the mall on my lunch break to purchase a new pair of shoes for an event. I parked and then went to get on the elevator being sure to let the young woman with the baby stroller to get on first. I smiled nicely at the woman, and allowed her to proceed. Once in the elevator I looked down into the carriage or the stroller, and there was no baby. It was a small dog, with a toy next to it, and a water dish. I laughed inside.

I was getting off the freeway one time and had to stop at the light. I look over to my right and saw a guy in a wheel chair stand up and stretch, and then his friend sat in the chair. It was the funniest thing to see these guys use a wheel chair for sympathy only, as they begged for food or money.

My boyfriend and I went to a Dodgers vs. Anaheim baseball game, and once the game was over we witnessed a major fight between men below us in our section. Granted I have never really seen a major fight take place in front of me before, so this was shocking to watch.
One guy who had been taunting the dodger fans, got kicked, beat, punched, and thrown over the seats. By the time 5 guys had kicked the living shit out of him, he was bleeding from his ear, and his pregnant wife or girlfriend was trying to clean him up. Eventually security showed up, but not until all the damage was done.

Living in a crazy neighborhood such as West Hollywood, there is a lot to see especially around the holidays. Men dressed as women, women dressed as men. Dance clubs with men dancing half naked on pedistals. And not to metion the Haloween carnival thrown every year, it's a site to see.

I'm sure I'll recall more crazy incidents.

Fun stuff!

J

Monday, August 15, 2005

Foreshadowing

I was recalling the other day my first visit to LA after passing by the hotel I stayed at on my first independent visit to this place. It was the winter of 1997 new years. I was a freshman in college, and I thought it was so cool that our football team had one all of their games. Some girls and myself decided we should drive from Washinton State to Los Angeles, CA to see the rosebowl, since our school was playing against Michigan that year. That was 1998 Jan. 1st.

The girls I came with were all from a small town that never new traffic, and had only one stop light. I on the other hand had been raised in a big hilly city with a stick shift. So I was the one to drive all around Los Angeles while we visited.

I remember driving through West Hollywood, thinking it was so nice, with all the Palm Trees. We stayed in Westwood at the Doubletree just off Beverly Hills. That also was nice!

Now I am living here and thinking about how far I have come since then. It's amazing to think about how I didn't really know anything about LA, and I embraced a visit with drive and excitement. So now, I really know the city, and have come to the conclusion that; once you get the chance to live in a place like Los Angeles, and if you can handle it, you can live anywhere.

It's fun to take some time and relfect on what makes me who I am, and how much I have put myself outside of my comfort zone not even knowing if I could handle it, and growing from my experiences.

Makes me wonder.

J

Thursday, August 11, 2005

Fahner

I woke up this morning so sad and upset because of the dream I had. I was crying so hard in my dream and when I woke up, I had no tears, but they started coming.
I dreamt about my grandfather, I miss dearly who passed 8 years ago. In my dream he drowned near the ocean, and I was saying to my family that I hope he didn't suffer, and then we all started to cry. It's that crying that is so mournful, and full of sadness. In real life he passed from a massive heart attack in his home at the age of 81.

It's the middle of August, I'm at work listening to christmas music and sipping my hot coffee flavored with milk and sugar. And the memories of christmas are flooding my head. My grandfather along with most of my family were all fantastic musicians. So each christmas party was full of singing, and loud wonderful music. My mom at the piano trying to keep up with the singers who included my dad, my uncles, and me. My cousins played their instruments as well, but no ones energy compared to my grandfathers. He stood 6'4" and had a tenor voice that could cut right through an orchestra. He could have had a prefessional career as a tenor, but he chose to be the big fish in the small pond instead and took care of his family. He was a man with the biggest heart I'd ever seen and had the best sense of humor I know.

I now see myself in him, and it's the greatest thing in the world to see so much of myself in someone I love so dearly. I promise to follow my career in music as he did, and share my gifts with others as he did. He was also a talented doctor, who cared so much about people. I am so thankful that I knew him, that he's a part of me, and that I got the chance to sing with him in my younger years.

He's missed.

J

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Summer Craze

It's summer time in Los Angeles and I find that the months are wizzing by me, and I can't seem to get a grip! So much has been going on in my life, that I'm starting to realize I need a minute to breath, take it all in, get some perspective and then move on.

We all need to take some time out for ourselves, to reflect and listen to that inner voice that tells us how we are doing.
How am I doing?
I am tense, I find I'm a little tired, and not getting enough sleep, and that my schedule is full.
This sounds like most people...
Do yourself a favor and take a minute each day, or a weekend to just be with yourself and your thoughts. Reflect on where you've come and where you are going, you are bound to learn something profound about yourself.

I am looking forward to a weekend where I can stay on a beach by myself, bring a journal, bring some soothing music, take some walks, and get a massage. That is my dream weekend right now. And I have a boyfriend who understands that this is something I need to do for myself.

Life is busy and it can get so crazy in a place like Los Angeles, but if you can, carve out some time for your peace of mind, and to find some time to recharge the batteries, our perspective and gratefullness will appear and we have renewed energy.

J